My Child Sexual Abuse Story

People ask me how at 22 years old I'm able to discuss the abuse I experienced by family members for eight years. The truth is it took lots of therapy, experiences, and support to get to where I am today.

My child sexual abuse began when I was three years old and was perpetrated by my grandmother and her now ex-boyfriend until they split up when I was eight years old. My abuse from my grandmother then continued in Massachusetts until I was eleven years old and moved to Kansas City, Missouri, with my immediate family.

I stayed silent until I was 15 years old, when repressed memories of my abuse began coming back after watching a movie entitled, "Room" with my family one night. I dissociated during the movie when the kidnapper raped the main character. Below I've attached two videos, one discussing repressed memories and another that explains dissociation.

These videos can be extremely helpful in understanding the psychological effects abuse can have on a survivor of sexual abuse and other traumatic events. I like the container exercise explained in the video about dissociation, I have used it many times through my healing process and highly recommend it.

After processing these repressed memories for some time I finally disclosed to my therapist who had me share with my mom. However, while this therapist was a mandatory reporter she never reported my abuse to the authorities.

A year later, when I was sixteen years old my parents supported me as I reported my sexual abuse to an organization called MOCSA which stands for The Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault.

A MOCSA therapist then reported my abuse to the authorities. The authorities then had me participate in a child forensic interview. During my child forensic interview, I had to go into detail about each occurrence of abuse that I could recall which was beyond difficult.

I got my child forensic interview done at The Sunflower House and looking back I am very impressed by how they assist children through such a re-traumatizing and difficult process.

The police report of my childhood sexual abuse was filed and I had a detective who was assigned to my case. My perpetrators did not receive any punishment and were not convicted of any crime. I was told there was not enough evidence in my case and the likelihood that I would get justice was slim to none if the case went forward.

It's rare to see a perpetrator of sexual abuse or assault get convicted of a crime through the criminal justice system. Victims rarely get justice and even when they do, justice I would say is the wrong word because nothing can take away the pain of abuse or amend all that was lost from the trauma.

However, I am glad that I went forward and reported my perpetrator because while he didn't get in trouble through the criminal justice system my report will always be there. The detective assigned to my case went to my perpetrator's residence and interviewed him, and then informed his entire family of my allegations.

I was pleased that was able to happen because I wanted to ensure his family knew what he was capable of and none of his grandchildren experienced the same type of abuse I did for years.

I want every survivor of sexual assault and abuse to know that it's okay to report and it's also okay to not report. That is ALWAYS your decision and your decision alone.

Thank you for listening to my story,

Sky